I know several ladies right now that need to hear this message in this picture. I truly share this with every ounce of love I have to give you and from a place of having been there.
This post is a personal one and “scary” to post, but if I truly want to give you strength and courage, and ask you to be brave then I need to be brave and honest enough to tell you my story. I had to jump in the dark off a deep cliff once and I was surprised to find a soft landing. Fear can be crippling but the relief that comes after the first steps and jump are made is so indescribable.
One of the lessons I am still working on is if you don’t make yourself a priority and love yourself first – no one else will. A very wise person recently told me “you have to take the flight attendant’s instructions – ‘put your oxygen mask on first and then help others.'” I had to learn to save myself first. I had to overcome my thought process that saving myself first was selfish – but what good am I to my beautiful little girls if I am falling apart at the seams from the inside out? I am not. It is a falsity. I am not teaching them strength and independence that way.
I have laid in bed sobbing thinking how did life get like this? Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough? Telling myself over and over that I am not strong enough for this.
I made it through. It wasn’t easy, but it was way less harder then I had thought it would be. I had to learn to ask for help and learn also that it wasn’t a weakness to do so. I had to learn how to remove the voice in my head telling me I was worthless and stop it from repeating every negative name I had been called. I learned to breathe again. I learned to give myself permission to live my life the way I wanted.
I will always be here to listen 💗 XOXO
When thinking about making popcorn for the top I immediately thought of mini marshmallows. I bought a bag and went to work. I took each one and cut the top in a cross hair pattern about a 1/4 to 1/2 way down, which made them look like molars!! Not exactly what I needed for this cake, but who knows what I might need in the future!
I pinched the bottom where it wasn’t cut and twisted which made them puff slightly where it was cut. On some I pulled the cut ends a little more apart to give variation to each “kernel.” Grab a marshmallow, cut, pinch, pull, repeat. Once I had enough to create the illusion of a mound of popcorn, I added a layer of fresh buttercream to the top of the cake to ensure the pieces would stick to the cake. To give it some color I took some yellow gel food coloring and put some in a dish with a touch of water to make it easier to paint onto the marshmallows. I did try the liquid food coloring first, and even with water, it looked more orange than yellow. I randomly picked pieces to color, and the end result was amazing!
My oldest turned 12 a few days ago. After talking about Christmas and trying to make present wish lists, we got on the topic of how much stuff we really have and how a lot of it doesn’t get used. We are those parents that have in years past gone through all the girls things and gotten rid of stuff to make room for all the birthday and Christmas presents that would make their way into our home. So, long story short, my oldest daughter decided for her birthday she wanted to have friends come over and watch a movie, play, eat popcorn, candy and cake (of course it had to look like a box of popcorn!), and just have a fun time. She also decided that she didn’t want her family and friends to give her gifts for her birthday. She wanted them to give her money, that she would then purchase gifts for The Angel Tree at our local Walmart. So she called her grandparents and told her request for her birthday and we made sure on all her invitations for her friends to let them know she didn’t want presents, but for them to help her in making her birthday wish a reality.
After one busy day preparing, one evening full of laughter and giggles, she came away with $280 graciously given by family and friends to spend on others for Christmas.
The next day we put out the invite to join us shopping for The Angel Tree and thankfully one of her friends was able to go! She and her friend picked out several tags and we went on the hunt to find the items. The first tag the girls saw I think really make an impact on them – it was for a Christmas dinner for a family of four. My daughter was so saddened that a child’s wish for Christmas – instead of cool toy – was merely a family dinner. They each grabbed one. They were able to purchase cologne, many toys, a car seat, a children’s play kitchen, two gift certificates for Christmas dinners and a child’s “couch” that unfolds to become “bed.” The entire time we were in the store, not once did they look at other toys on the shelves or make comments about items that they would like or want. The mission was clear – give to others.
At the register Kailee was proud to pay for all the items in their very full cart. I realized at check out that I had forgotten to throw a roll of tape in my purse so that we could attach the tags to each gift. I asked they clerk if she thought the service desk would lend us tape and was assured they would. As we stood in line at customer service a clerk came over and asked if we had a few items for the Angel Tree because she could help us with them. Her mouth dropped when she was told that the entire cart was for The Angel Tree and Kailee explained about her birthday request. The clerk immediately gave Kailee a big hug and thanked her and her friend, Olivia, for being so kind-hearted. We then went to pick up a few groceries and while we were in line paying for my items, the same clerk came up and asked to borrow the girls. They followed her back to the service desk where they were praised for their good deed by several employees – it truly was a group effort that made this possible!
Have Sweets, Will Share. 