Am I the only one?

IMG_0963Peanut butter + Chocolate = LOVE for most people, but I am not one of them. I would much rather drag my celery sticks through thick and gooey creamy peanut butter or slather on some chunky peanut butter and raspberry jam onto toast for a great throw back sandwich.  Whenever I think of peanut butter cups I think of my brother, who is a peanut butter and chocolate lover, and “50 First Dates” with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. “Want me to put some peanut butter cups in your eggs?” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4quLuThn_Sc I had intended to make these awhile back for a friend and his tattoo shop. They were doing a great donation night for Project Semicolon. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to go and support this great endeavor due to previous obligations with my children, but I was there in spirit (and still owe Sam some goodies!).

(null)Since I was going to be making quite a few of these in not a lot of time, I had bought pre-made chocolate shell cups. I do have a candy mold to make these by hand, but this was way simpler for the time I was going to have to make them. I bought three packages (about $4 each at Walmart) of ChocoMaker dessert cups. These cups come in two trays of six and unwrapped. There is no need to peel anything off these delicious Dark Belgian Chocolate cups. To make these from scratch you would  need a mold and tempered chocolate. These cups are so versatile. You can fill them with any type of ganache or cream, the possibilities are ENDLESS!

IMG_0957I made up a triple batch of chocolate ganache (ensuring I would have some leftover to make some goodies that I do like!). Ganache is so easy to make. It is my go-to filling for cupcakes and cakes. If you leave it out at room temp. it will set and can be used for a rich and decadent frosting. For a single batch of ganache you will need 1/2 cup heavy cream and 8 oz. of good chocolate chips – I used dark, and a pinch of salt and a tsp. of instant coffee granules.

 

IMG_0958Keep in mind, dark chocolate is easiest to make into a ganache and white chocolate is the hardest. I put all my ingredients into a pan and and stirred constantly until it was smooth, creamy and combined. Don’t let this mixture stand or it will burn; you need to keep stirring it. You can do this in a microwave by combining all the ingredients in a microwave safe bowl and heating in 30 sec. intervals and stirring throughly between each heating session.

IMG_0960After ganache was made, I set it aside off the stove to set slightly before using as my peanut butter cup topping. For the centers I used double batch of filling. For a single batch you will need 1 c. creamy peanut butter, ¼ c.unsalted butter, ¼ c. light brown sugar and 1¼ c. powdered sugar. In a medium saucepan over med. heat, combine peanut butter, butter and brown sugar. Heat until completely melted, stirring constantly. Pour mixture into a mixing bowl and add powdered sugar a little at a time. Mix on low until it is complete incorporated. Set aside and let cool slightly. I put this mixture into a disposable piping bag, which makes the process much cleaner and easier. Once the mixture is cooled, pipe into shells. You will need to flatten the top slightly and push it into any open gaps. IMG_0961IMG_0962

Then spoon on the ganache and smooth it out for a delicious and indulgent treat! P.S. – You might want a glass of milk – just sayin’! ENJOY!IMG_0963


 

Truth, Stigma and Healing

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Photo: Valerie McKeehan

This blog is part of my path to health. I am a hot mess – aren’t we all?  I finally realized at 33 that I am not capable of changing how I handle and/or manage my stress. I have always been hard on myself … ALWAYS. Let’s be real, it needs to stop or I will end up teaching my daughters this bad habit.

I am use to dealing with a million things at once; I am a mom of two, best friend to their dad, who owns his own business, and my job requires me to multi-task in several departments. I have stress on a daily basis. We all have our laundry list of daily responsibilities. I always thought I was good at dealing with stress – I honestly thought this with all of my being.

Then it happened. I had a “melt down.” I was sitting at my desk at work tearing up over something I knew wasn’t my fault. I had been snapped at by someone else (who was obviously stressed out also). I was absolutely dumb-founded. I kept replaying the scene over and over and over in my head. What could I have differently? How did I not know ahead of time this would happen? I shouldn’t have said anything. I am so stupid. And around and around it went. I felt like I was vibrating in my own skin. My ears were pounding and I shaking, I felt like the room was closing in on me and I couldn’t breathe. I know now I was the proud owner of my first panic attack.

I called my doctor’s office and they fit me in the next morning. I was nervous at first. I remember thinking geesh, another ailment. Lets add to the list. I wasn’t ashamed to talk to my doctor about my feelings – he is an amazing doctor. He goes out of his way to help me when it comes to thinking outside of the box in regards to not being able to take any kind of pain medicine. The first thing his medical assistant said to me is “Just breathe, it gets better from here.” Wow! So simple and yet so powerful for me.

I have a hard time releasing control. I am in the school of thought that if you want something done right, do it yourself. Sitting in that room, then and there, many memories flooded back to me of times where I chastised myself over and over for something that went wrong – where I felt I had disappointed someone. I knew in that moment I need to let go and let someone else (my doctor) be in charge.

Fast forward to today. People are noticing a difference. My daughters notice a difference. I notice a difference. There is no shame in needing help, regardless of what it is for, and asking for help is truly the first step – AND IT IS A HUGE ONE! Knowing there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel, happiness and smiling is possible, this is relief that you don’t understand until you have been the opposite. I took what my doctor told me to heart and really listened to what he had to say. “There are three types of people with anxiety and depression that receive medicine to help them. One is someone who takes medicine for a time and gets to a point they don’t need it anymore, kind of like a reset. Two is someone who takes medicine for a time, then goes off of it for a time, then back on for a time, and so on. Three is someone who takes medicine for the rest of their life. Is there a right or wrong way to do this? No. Everyone is different and that means their needs are different. Should you try to define yourself as one of the three? No. Just know that whichever third you happen to be, there are others, and that you are trying your best to help yourself into the light.” So I have chosen to breathe, take time each week for myself and not feel guilty, and do what I do best and love … bake.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
2 1/2 c. AP flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 c. unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 c. granulated sugar
1 c. canned pumpkin puree
1 lg. egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 bag semi-sweet or milk chocolate chips

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, pumpkin pie spice and salt; set aside. In a med. bowl cream together the butter and sugar. Add pumpkin, egg and vanilla to butter mixture, and beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Add in chips and stir gently to combined. Drop onto parchment lined cookie sheet (I use a 2 tbsp. cookie scoop). Bake for 15 to 20 mins. in preheated oven.

Turn these into whoopie pies! You can make a simple cream cheese or buttercream frosting, or your favorite whoopie pie filling, and you have a double duty recipe!