family

Out Living …

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

Last years birthday was an odd one for me – turning the same age my father was when he passed away. It was such an indescribable feeling. This January will mark year 28 without him. Since he passed away when I was 6 years old, I honestly have only really known life without him. I cherish what I remember, but I still mourn him. I haven’t come to a place where I outwardly celebrate his life in his remembrance. Maybe it’s because I was so young and only remember so much. I am no longer bitter about my dad’s death – I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, good or bad, and I know it may take awhile to find the reason.

This year I am officially older than my dad. WOW. Again, I can’t even put into words the feelings that bubble up over this. So when words fail me (which isn’t very often I might ad), baking does not. I put my energy and effort into some surprise delivery cupcakes and planning a mid-week birthday treat.

On Sunday I baked a luscious lemon batch of cupcakes and filled them with a blueberry sauce and piped on the most perfectly paired lemon cream cheese buttercream. I used a new piping tip – which made me relive my ice cream cone filling days in high school.  I used my extra large cupcake liners to ensure some indulging would happen as these pretty perfect cupcakes were delivered. Monday afternoon was definitely made better for a local business. A surprise thank you and acknowledgement of helpfulness. The world can use some more of these types of visits!

14731392_557930124414020_7930662054414118044_nOn Tuesday evening I baked a decadent chocolate cupcake filled with chocolate espresso ganache and piped on a mountain of espresso buttercream. The only request from the birthday co-worker was lots of chocolate. I think I delivered with this 1:1 cupcake to frosting ratio goodie!

Memories

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment
image
Me and my daddy

I love having deja vu! It is a sometimes frustrating event – trying to figure out when this moment in time happened the first time. Usually, however, I love the thought that this moment was so great the first time that I get to relive it a SECOND TIME, or that possibly I missed something important the first time so I get a chance to catch it the second time around.  Anything can trigger these moments – a song, a word, a smell, a feel … something so small can bring back such HUGE emotions and feelings of a time before.

Reliving moments in my life can sometimes be bitter-sweet, like losing my dad when he was only 34 and I was only 6. I think of him daily without fail, though sometimes it is because I will hear a song or smell something and I am taken back in time – back to the few years that I had with him. I often wonder what life would be like if he were still alive – how different things would be. I know that even though he is not physically here with me he is watching over me and my girls, and that he hasn’t missed a moment.

11011257_10102330868592509_8343207295137639822_n
Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Cookies

Food has always had a way of transporting me to another time and place, invoking memories of delicious dishes I have eaten or the people who have made them. My mom always made what I now know are called Peanut Butter Blossom Cookies (us kids just called them peanut butter kiss cookies). For the longest time I thought Hershey Kisses only came out around Christmastime, because that is when she made them. My Grama Berta always made celery stuffed with cheese for the holidays and family dinners, and my brothers and I still look for it on the table at holidays. My Grama (my mom’s mom) always makes broccoli casserole, which I love and still request. My girls always ask their Grammy to make sweet potato souffle for holiday dinners, and with me it’s my Brown Sugar Chocolate Chip Cookies.

When people speak of traditions in their families, I think many times we don’t include the food that is made. Whatever the reason for coming together – a holiday, a wedding, a death, a birthday – we include food. Some of these dishes are passed down from generation to generation – a near and dear family recipe, or something we stumbled across or made on a whim and fell in love with. The food we make will help create memories for the ones we love and bring them back in time, reliving memories, keeping traditions alive and sometimes even creating some new ones.