grief

SUNSETS!

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

This is a Facebook post from my personal page. This isn’t a “normal” blog post, nor does it have anything to do with baking, but everything to do with LOVE, SIGNS and SUNSETS.

 

15621868_10103550817375369_1058234644136233353_nI love sunsets. Yes, they are pretty, but to me they are so much more. I can’t tell you when it started, but I can tell you why. I have alluded to sunsets before tonight, but I have never shared exactly why they mean so much to me (with anyone).

16998157_10103751230820219_9099789378870496058_nThis post is for my family that is hurting and grieving in a way I have never experienced personally. I love them deeply and my heart aches for them, and I pray their memories, and love for each other keeps them strong during the difficult time. 

13726789_10103153513490539_4611357999121582467_nI can’t tell you how many times I have asked God when my life has felt crazy out of control and I have felt at a loss, “Why do I keep getting tested? “What is going to be so bad that I need to be so strong?” “Please give me a sign things will get better – I need things to get better.” A few years ago, I believe I figured out what my strength was needed for and I surprised myself with how much courage I found within myself, and like many times before, when I have been struggling, the SUNSET was breathtaking that night. I was never walking alone. SUNSETS ARE MY SIGN. 

21728405_10104404122924209_1488864282375343796_nTonight, as I was driving alone in my car, I started to pray for my family and friends who are grieving. I felt the need to pull over so that I could really focus on what my heart was feeling, asking God to grant them strength and courage to face the days ahead; to let them see the SIGNS that their loved one is near; and to know they are not walking alone. When I looked up the sky was amazing. My sign was once again there to greet me. 

21740454_10104398149799399_7393540964662194307_n💗MUCH LOVE TO MY JAMES FAMILY! I hope your signs are all around you! 

Out Living …

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

Last years birthday was an odd one for me – turning the same age my father was when he passed away. It was such an indescribable feeling. This January will mark year 28 without him. Since he passed away when I was 6 years old, I honestly have only really known life without him. I cherish what I remember, but I still mourn him. I haven’t come to a place where I outwardly celebrate his life in his remembrance. Maybe it’s because I was so young and only remember so much. I am no longer bitter about my dad’s death – I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, good or bad, and I know it may take awhile to find the reason.

This year I am officially older than my dad. WOW. Again, I can’t even put into words the feelings that bubble up over this. So when words fail me (which isn’t very often I might ad), baking does not. I put my energy and effort into some surprise delivery cupcakes and planning a mid-week birthday treat.

On Sunday I baked a luscious lemon batch of cupcakes and filled them with a blueberry sauce and piped on the most perfectly paired lemon cream cheese buttercream. I used a new piping tip – which made me relive my ice cream cone filling days in high school.  I used my extra large cupcake liners to ensure some indulging would happen as these pretty perfect cupcakes were delivered. Monday afternoon was definitely made better for a local business. A surprise thank you and acknowledgement of helpfulness. The world can use some more of these types of visits!

14731392_557930124414020_7930662054414118044_nOn Tuesday evening I baked a decadent chocolate cupcake filled with chocolate espresso ganache and piped on a mountain of espresso buttercream. The only request from the birthday co-worker was lots of chocolate. I think I delivered with this 1:1 cupcake to frosting ratio goodie!